The Kinky Tauntaun, Episode 10
We’ve got an alimentary graduate, well kind of-
John Robinson, of North Park, San Diego was Frustrated with neighborhood dogs leaving waste on his lawn and dog owners not picking up after their pets. So, he scattered several pounds of chocolate chips in the grass in front of his home.
I. X-Men: Apocalypse
a. The TKT History of the X-Men
b. The Singer-Verse version of the X-Men, recap the ups and downs of X-Men through Days of Future Past
c. Apocalypse: The end of this incarnation of the X-Men?
i. The Good: Quicksilver; Mystique...mostly
ii. The Bad: Gross misuse of characters like Havok, Archangel, Psylocke; how will they fuck up Phoenix? Again?!?
iii. The Ugly:
1. the incoherence of the story, lack of cohesion, continuity errors; First Class is 1963, DOFP is 1973, Apocalypse is 1983, what there is no indication that 20 years has passed. Weapon X was a full 10 years? No one fucking aged? Moira MacTaggert is just as hot after 20 years? Bald James McAvoy will morph into Patrick Stewart a mere 15 years later?
2. The world was pretty much destroyed. Way to go, X-Men.
3. Apocalypse had whatever power could suit the moment…what about his ability to wake up before five thousand years passed? He need gold juice? What the fuck is this?
4. Now about that ending…I thought Apocalypse just wanted to eradicate normal humans, not control their minds? How about Magneto ball that fucker up in a metal ball and they hurl his ass into space/the sun/etc? Did I mention that Magneto fucked the entire planet? No economic, political, social impact to the level of devastation? Did Zack Snyder direct this piece of shit? Did Bryan Singer one-up Zack Snyder?
5. Post-Credit: Mr. Sinister—a new villain for them to fuck up
iv. How do we fix the franchise?
II. And now they’re NOT that important, NOT even close to normal but defiantly NOT boring it’s N3News
Ghost hunters capture paranormal activity-
The Picturesque 19th century Sculcoates Lane graveyard in Hull England often attracts visitors looking for a glimpse of a ghostly monk, known as Henry, who is said to guard the oldest tombs. So when the tour party first heard the sound of moans, they thought they might have struck lucky. Instead, they were stunned to find a team of cameramen with sound equipment gathered around a couple filming a porno.
I think we’ve all had those unfortunate days where we just can’t seem to get off the toilet.
38-year-old Atthaporn Boonmakchuay was sitting on the toilet when he reached down with his hand after feeling a sharp bite - only to discover the serpent's jaws clamped around the tip of his penis.
Hilariously Wrong-
Nazi pug: Man arrested after teaching girlfriend's dog to perform Hitler salute as a 'prank'
And now it’s time for
Darwin Weeps
(Stories about dumb people that would make Darwin weep for the future of our species)
Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert Will Save Us From Gay Space Colonies
Apparently Yoda was wrong-
A 52-year-old Russian man has been detained after using an axe to sever his friend's penis.