This time in Wait What, There’s Good News-

Ebola, 10 Down 1 to Go & Burn Baby Burn.

Then in Hard Thrusting News-

The Most Offensive Offense,

Playing Cop are Robbers,

MIA’d by DEA

& No, we’re not rich; you’re just really poor.

Then in Oedipal Earth-

GOP COPD.

Then in Cool Shit-

The 2015 Gold Flush and Could Goonerbaters save the World.

 Then in Not, Not Noteworthy News-

Granny Got Her Gun & Top Man Bottoms Out.

And to finish, a segment I call Darwin Weeps-

Walker Texas Deranger,

No Reading or Writing, Just a Field Goal Kick,

& STD Stands for Stupid Texas Decisions.